CATASTROPHIC MARITIME DISASTER: CARNIVAL VIFP CRUISE SHIP SINKS WITH OVER 15,000 ABOARD INVOLVING PRESIDENT OF CELEBRITY CRUISES…
In an unprecedented maritime catastrophe, the Carnival VIFP Dreamliner sank late Friday evening with over 15,000 passengers and crew aboard. The massive vessel, promoted as “the floating city of indulgence,” experienced what officials are calling a “total systems failure” just hours into its much-hyped 20-night voyage across the Caribbean.
Eyewitness accounts describe a surreal scene as lights flickered, music blared, and cocktails continued to be served even as the ship began to list dangerously to port. “I thought it was part of the entertainment,” said one survivor. “They told us it was an immersive Titanic experience.”
The situation took a bizarre twist when it was revealed that the President of Celebrity Cruises, Malcolm Harrington III, was on board. Carnival spokespeople have yet to explain what their competitor’s top executive was doing aboard their flagship, though conspiracy theories are already swirling.
“This was no accident,” said an anonymous source within the cruise industry. “There are rivalries at sea that make Wall Street look like kindergarten.”
The U.S. Coast Guard mounted a massive rescue operation, airlifting thousands to safety. Still, with many unaccounted for, questions are mounting about the ship’s safety protocols, passenger capacity (experts claim the ship was only rated for 9,000), and whether Carnival ignored prior warnings.
Carnival Cruise Line has issued a brief statement expressing “deep concern and commitment to cooperating with all investigations,” but critics are calling it tone-deaf after reports surfaced that new cruise bookings are still being promoted on the company’s homepage.
Investigations are underway. For now, the sea keeps its secrets—and a luxury liner sleeps beneath the waves.
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